A guy had a massive crush on this woman. He was so enchanted by her that every time he saw her he got an instant hard-on. In order to avoid any embarrassment from such an obvious happenstance he decided to call her and ask her out over the phone. To his surprise she agreed and they made plans. As soon as he hung up he thought, “Shit, what am I gonna do? I'll get a hard-on as soon as I see her and she'll never talk to me again." So, man-like, he came up with what he thought was the perfect solution to him problem. He duct-taped and tied his man thing to his leg. On date night he went up to her door, doublechecked his work with a pat on his leg and rang the doorbell, but when she opened the door he kicked her in the face.