I am a widower three times over..... My first wife died when she ate some poisonous mushrooms from the yard. My second wife died from eating the same mushrooms. My third wife fell down the stairs because she wouldnt eat the mushrooms.

Three wives are having drinks at bar. After a few drinks they begin comparing their husbands to soda. The first wife says ""Well, my husband would be 7-UP. He's seven inches and straight up."" The second wife thinks for a second and says ""Mountain Dew. He's always mounting me and we're always doing it."" After a couple seconds the third wife says ""My husband would be Jack Daniels."" The first wife says ""Jack Daniels is a liquor, not a soda."" ""Yep, that would my him.""

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday... Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who ""never knew he was…

A man tells a friend that he had three wives pass away. A man is talking with a friend and reveals to him that his last three wives had passed away. ""That's terrible! What caused them to pass away?"" The friend asked, sympathetically. ""Well,"" says the man, ""my first wife ate poison mushrooms and died from that. Then, my second wife found the poison mushrooms in the refrigerator, ate them and died as well. My third wife, however, died from a fractured skull."" Taken aback, the friend replies,…