Three Russian alcoholics gather for a drink. They pour each one a glass of vodka and drink half of it in one go. One of them, when he puts down his drink, doesn't see his buddies, but sees St. Peter surrounded by holy light. “I can't die yet! I haven't even finished this glass!” - the alcoholic cries. “Okay” says St. Peter. “I can bring you back, but as an animal.” The alcoholic thinks: “I should pick something small, so there's more vodka for me.” So he asks St. Peter to bring him back as a spider. Poof! He wakes up as a tiny spider on the ceiling of the room. He sees his two friends, still drinking away. "The table is so far away! How can I get down?" He hears the saint's voice: "You can weave a web now, just push it out.” He does so, and web comes out. He starts descending down and down to the table. After a minute, there's only a few centimeters left, he's almost right in his glass of vodka! He just needs to push a little more... "Wake up, drunkard, you shit yourself!"