Poor Boudreaux . . . Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a little lumber from that new construction site." Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son? Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time. I'm afraid that someone will break their leg, so I fix the hole." Priest: "Well, that's not so bad." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left." Priest: "What did you do with it? Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog Phi…

Who keeps the children? A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification. After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, "Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does th…

Dad Jokes anyone! Little Johnny: Will you marry me? Susie: You have to ask my father first. Little Johnny: (later) Well, I asked him. Susie: And what did he say? Little Johnny: He said he’s already married.

One day, my fiancé’s sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations She was alone when I arrived and whispered to me that she had these feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me -- just once -- before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I w…