A Scouser walks into the local benefits office, walks up to the counter to collect his fortnightly giro and say's to the woman. "You know something? I just hate being on the dole, I'd really rather have a job". The benefits worker behind the counter tells him. "Your timing is excellent. We have just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man. He wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes or his Rolls Royce. He'll supply all of your clothes, credit cards and money. Because of the long hours, all your meals will also be provided. You'll be expected to escort his beautiful daughter on her overseas holiday trips, you'll have to satisfy all of her needs including any "physical" urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage and the starting salary is £200,000 a year" The scouser says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The benefits worker says. "YEAH, BUT YOU STARTED IT".....