Ed the Chicken Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered w…

An Italian man, a Jewish man, and a gay man go to Heaven An Italian man, a Jewish man, and a gay man all die and go to Heaven. When they approach the Pearly Gates they beg St. Peter to give them a second chance. St. Peter agrees under one condition. They must never give in to their favorite things ever again. The three men agree and are sent back down to Earth. While walking down the street enjoying their new found lives they come across a pizzeria. Italian: Oh my God! I never thought I would ta…

A priest and a math teacher... die and go to heaven at the same time. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates, and then shows them to their accommodations. He brings the math teacher to a luxurious mansion, with a hedge maze, marble columns, and a fountain. The priest thinks to himself, ""If the math teacher gets this, imagine what I might get!"" So he follows St. Peter past a row of large houses, a row of suburban houses, a row of small houses, a row of houses for rent, a row of apartment com…

A cabbie and a priest die at the same time ... and arrive at the gates of heaven. St. peter looks at the cabbie's records and exclaims, ""welcome to heaven good sir!"" before giving him a golden silk robe and keys to a villa. Looking at the spectacle in front of him, the priest thinks he's set. When he arrives, St. Peter looks at his chart and says, ""you'll do"" before giving him a somewhat old robe and keys to what looked like an apartment. The priest looks astonished and asks the angel why he…