So there's a little guy sitting at a bar....(heard this years ago, hope it isn't a repost) ...when a much larger, muscular guy walks in who seems to have a chip on his shoulder. The big guy sits down next to the little guy and orders a beer, after a bit the big guy jumps up and completely out of nowhere punches the little guy, knocking him to the floor. ""That's boxing, from Las Vegas."" The little guy picks himself up off the floor, dusts himself off, gets back on his stool and just quietly goe…

Bill and Ted were at a bar... Bill asked, ""Hey where's Dave? Why isn't he here tonight?"" ""Dave is dead,"" said Ted. ""How?"" Ted said, ""Well, he was supposed to pick me up, but when he got to my house, he hit my Ferrari in the driveway, flew through his own windshield, and crashed through my kitchen window."" ""What a terrible way to die!"" ""Well, no, that didn't kill him. He tried to get up off of my kitchen floor, and he grabbed the handle of my refrigerator door for balance, but the frid…

A Panda Walks Into a Bar A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up, stretches, and pulls out a gun. He proceeds to shoot everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads ""Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.""

This is for my people Four guys, white, black, Hispanic and Asian, are all on a plane filled with care packages. They fly over China, where the Asian guy throws over a crate filled with chopsticks and rice as he yells, ""This is for my people!"" Next, they fly over Mexico, where the Hispanic guy throws over a crate filled with tacos and salsa as he yells, ""This is for my people!"" After that, they fly over Texas, where the white guy throws over a crate filled with beer and hamburgers as he yell…