"Hey mom, I talked to my teacher after school and she says 'hump day' isn't a real holiday... She also asked what you do for a living."

- Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?

It's Career Day at the Elementary School... ...and everyone's dad comes in to give a presentation about their job. The first dad up is a firefighter. Next is a policeman. Then a banker, and so on, until everyone's dad has gone up to talk about their job, except one. ""Where's your father, Bobby?"" the teacher asks. ""He died 2 years ago"" Bobby replies. ""Well, why don't you tell us what he did before he died?"" says the teacher, to which Bobby responds, ""AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG…

Important Punctuation So little Timmy is at school and for show and tell, he drew a dot on the board. The teacher asks him, what's that? Timmy then replies, it's a period! Teacher, what's so special about it that you brought it in for show and tell? Timmy, I don't know, but this morning, my sister said she missed hers. Mommy fainted, Daddy got a heart attack, and the man next door shot himself in the head.