Went to take out money from the ATM and hit Espanol by accident.It replied, 'Nice try, you don't get paid until all the onions are chopped'.

I usually make it to the ATM just behind the guy who's using it to refinance his home loan.

The bank robbery would have ended much better for me if I hadn't stopped on the way out at the ATM to deposit the money.

Have you heard about the ATM that got addicted to money? I heard it suffered from withdrawls.