If I drank as little alcohol as I tell my doctor I'd weigh as little as I tell the people at the DMV when I renew my driver's license.

An elderly asian man gets into a car accident and has to re-do his eye exam for the DMV. He fails, and goes to the doctor. While examining him, the doctor says ""well, I can see the problem here. You have cataracts."" The old man responds, ""I don't have cataract! I have rincoln continental!""

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’ ‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked. ‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied, ‘I know the guy.’

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."