An elderly asian man gets into a car accident and has to re-do his eye exam for the DMV. He fails, and goes to the doctor. While examining him, the doctor says ""well, I can see the problem here. You have cataracts."" The old man responds, ""I don't have cataract! I have rincoln continental!""

A man loses his eye in a car accident When he's in recovery, his doctor tells him he won't be able to regain his vision so he offers him his finest false eyes. However, due to the insurance cost and hospital bills, the man can only afford a wooden eye as a replacement. After a few weeks of adjusting to the wooden eye, he's feeling pretty confident so he goes out to a bar. As he sits down to drink, he spies a beautiful woman with a large nose from across the bar. With every ounce of courage he ha…

A kid is born with no body... So a child is born with no body or limbs, he's just a head. The doctor tells the parents that he seems to be in perfectly good health otherwise and after a few days in the hospital they all go home. The kid grows up perfectly fine as just a head, and eventually reaches his 21st birthday, so the father decides they need to go out and have a few drinks. So they get to the bar, the kid has a drink, and immediately a body pops out. The father is amazed and shocked, but …

Three Mexicans were in a car accident. Three Mexicans are in the hospital, one of them wakes up and asks what happened? The doctor says ""that's what we'd like to know, you were in a car accident can you remember what happened before?"" The man tries to think back ""The group and I were at the bar and were heading home..."" ""Juan was driving but he was too drunk to drive, so he said a prayer and asked Jesus to take the wheel"" Doctor: so you trusted in God to get you home safely? ""No, just Jes…