Little Johnny's dad Little Johnny's teacher asks every kid in the class to share what their dads to for a living. ""My dad's a fireman."" ""My dad's a policeman."" Soon, all the kids except little Johnny had shared. The teacher asks: ""Little Johnny, what does your father do?"" ""Nothing, he's dead."" ""Well, I'm sorry to hear that. What did he do before he died?"" ""He shit his pants and turned blue.""

How to sell toothbrushes Monday at school, the teacher lined up all the students and had them present their weekend homework: their assignment was to sell something and give a presentation on effective salesmanship. Sally was up first. ""I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30. My sales approach was to appeal to people's sense of civic duty and I credit that for my success."" ""Very good, Sally,"" said the teacher. ""Next?"" Jenny went next. ""I sold magazines and I made $45,"" she said. ""My a…

Which body part goes to heaven first? Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first. One little girl raised her hand and said, ""I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."" The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, ""I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."" ""Very good,"" …

Little Johnny goes camping Little Johnny's Second Grade class is going camping for a class field trip. As nighttime comes, all the children get set up in their tents and get ready to fall asleep. A few hours go by, a storm approaches and thunder begins clapping, and little Johnny can't seem to sleep. Little Johnny gets out of his sleeping bag and wanders over to his teacher's tent. Little Johnny tells his teacher that on stormy nights like this, his mom lets him crawl into bed with her to keep h…