An Englishman is visiting Ireland for the first time... His first stop is Cork where he decides he wants to kiss the famous Blarney Stone. Unfortunately for him he hasn't a clue where the stone is, so he walks into a pub to ask for directions. He walks into the pub and yells, ""Alright Paddies, I'm visiting from London and I'm looking for someone to take me to kiss this famous Blarney's Stone I've heard so much about."" There's a small stir in the bar as every Irishman scowls at him, until one m…

Beer is good. After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, ""Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."" The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, ""I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."" The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, ""I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mo…

Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar. [copypasta from digitaldreamdoor] ""As good as this is,"" said the Scotsman, ""I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth. ""Well, Angus,"" said the Englishman, ""at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."" ""Ahhh, dat's nothin',"" said the Iri…

Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar . ""As good as this is,"" said the Scotsman, ""I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth. ""Well, Angus,"" said the Englishman, ""at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."" ""Ahhh, dat's nothin',"" said the Irishman, ""back home in my favorit…