A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess... The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. ""If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day,"" the teacher explains. ""Tommy, what'd you do for recess?"" she asks the first student. ""Well,"" Tommy begins, ""I played in the sand box with Suzy!"" ""Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gol…

Suzy is sleeping in Sunday school when... The teacher asks the class: Who created the heavens and the earth? Little boy behind Suzy pokes her with a pencil. ""Good God"", Suzy exclaimed. ""Very good Suzy. Now who can tell me who saved us from our sins?"" the teacher asked. Little Johnny pokes Suzy again. ""Jesus Christ!"" she shouts. ""Very good Suzy. I'm glad you're answering so strongly. Now, what did Eve day to Adam after their last child?"" the teacher asked hoping to stump her students. Lit…

Third grade teacher to her class: ""Who can use the word 'beautiful' twice in the same sentence?"" Suzy raises her hand and says: ""The girl has a beautiful new dress and she looks beautiful in it."" Teacher: ""Very good Suzy. Okay, Billy."" Billy: ""When my sister told our father that she was pregnant, he said 'Beautiful, just beautiful.'""

Future Plans! A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils` answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, ""My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."" The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, ""My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, …