David calls up his brother Mike to schedule their annual family trip. He tells him they're leaving Saturday to go to Detroit. Mike asks, ""wait a minute, why Detroit?"" David answers, ""Well, you know that thing old ladies do, where they set up a map on a dart board, and wherever it lands is where they go?"" Mike couldn't resist a chuckle, and says back to him ""Yeah, i know that one."" ""Well, I missed and hit the trash can.""

I'm glad David married me for my brains. My glorius, perky, bouncy brains.

At 14 I asked my dad about a tattoo. He said ok as long as I got it someplace that doesn't matter. So I got it in Detroit.

ME: Ugh hate summer when bees are flying everywhere BEE [angrily undoing seatbelt on plane] I'm gonna sting him BEE WIFE:Just leave it David