"David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"

DOG: [running in circles trying to catch his own tail] SON OF A DOG'S PREGNANT WIFE: *looks up from knitting* Son of a what, David? Say it

Cave Excavation A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in their order of appearance: 1. a woman 2. a donkey 3. a shovel 4. a fish 5. a Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archeologists from all over the world came to stu…

It was just a misunderstanding My wife asked little David if he had enjoyed the trip. ""Yes it was great - we saw sheep, horses, goats, and f???ers."" Wife: ""er, fine, fine. I know what the sheep and the rest are, but what is a f???er?"" David: ""Oh, they're the animals that give us milk"" Wife: ""but who said they were called, er, f???ers?"" David: ""that was our teacher. Well actually she called them ""effers,"" but we all knew what she meant.""