Pakistan president calls to Obama in the morning And says ""I'm sorry to hear about the terrorist attacks in New York, I wanted to be the first one to call and show my support to America"" After a pause Obama replies ""What attack? I have no news of such attacks yet"" A dramatic silence prevails After a while Obama hears a voice on phone that sounded like someone shouting ""shit I forgot about the time difference"".

Wee Joe fae Glasgow... After a disasterous earthquake in New York, a wee man from Glasgow headed off across the Atlantic to aid his American friends in the clean up operation. After many days of making little progress, Joe heard that President Obama had arrived to thank everyone who was digging in. That afternoon Joe felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to find himself face to face with the President. "I'd just like to say that your help here is greatly appreciated," Obama said. "Aye, na…

"more like president PAJAMA" *obama jumps into pj's, congress full of 12 year olds is pleased*

Under Bush we had 3 Shrek movies. Under Obama we had 1. Can we really trust a president whose #1 goal was to bring down the Shrek franchise?