St. Peter: Why should I let you into heaven? Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

Gangbangers in Heaven Forty gangbangers, complete with hoodies and hos, turn up at the pearly-gates demanding to be let in. St. Peter explains that he just can't let them all in at once & tells them to ""hang on a few minutes, whilst I just have a word with my boss."" So he goes off & gets on the phone to God. God says to him ""Go back down to them, but don't let any of them through the pearly gates until you've talked to them & established who have sinned & who have been righteo…

You also need a potato... So Bob dies and goes to heaven, but before he can get in, he's stopped by St. Peter, who has a few questions. ""All right Bob,"" says Peter, ""first off, on what grounds are you applying for admission to heaven?"" ""Well, sir,"" says Bob, ""I was kind of relying on Jesus to help me out there..."" ""Ah, excellent,"" says Peter. ""Now let me see... ah, that lets us skip over questions 2 through 14... now, on to question 15... Do you like mashed potatoes?"" ""Mashed potato…

An old man dies and reaches the gates of heaven. He is quite confused and doesn't remember things too well. St Peter asks him the routine questions, but doesn't get anywhere. So he tells him ""Never mind, I'll take you to the boss"" and brings him to Jesus. Jesus starts asking questions. ""Hello old man. Do you remember your name?"" The old man replies ""No... not really... something that starts with J... I remember that people didn't call me by my real name..."" ""Mmmm... what did you do for a …