[After reading vows] Me: Why are you upset? Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice.

Donald be careful. Donald watch out. Donald look both ways. Donald Duck!

Goldilocks and the Three Bears (American Football Fans Will Understand) Mama bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce after the fiasco with Goldilocks, but they must decide custody of baby bear. The judge takes baby bear aside, and asks politely, ""Would you like to live with Papa Bear?"" ""No,"" Baby Bear answers, ""Papa Bear beats me!"" ""Oh no."" the judge replies. ""Then you can live with Mama Bear."" ""No!"" Baby Bear exclaims. ""She beats me too!"" ""Oh dear."" Says the judge. ""Well then,…

From an old National Lampoon record A guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his first act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his second act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. Just then, a guy in the audience says, I think I've heard this before. The comedian says, maybe you caught my first act. The man says, not lik…