Cancer An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, ""I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that I have cancer and the doctor said I only have a month to live."" ""Pop, what are you talking about?"" the son screams. ""I don't really have the strength to talk right now,"" the old man says. ""I'm too sick to talk right now, so you call your sister in Chicago and let her know."" and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. ""OH MY GOD! Th…

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, ""I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."" ""Pop, what are you talking about?"" the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"" the old man says. ""We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,"" and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on …

Divorce An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on…

My most established grimy joke, From my granddad around the pit fire An old couple gets pulled over and... Woman cop - ""May I see you permit and enlistment sir?"" Old man - ""ugh, what did she say?"" Old spouse - ""She needs to see you permit and enlistment dear."" The old man hands it to the woman cop and... Woman cop - ""Gracious, I see you are from New York. I used to have a beau from New York, he was the most exceedingly terrible significant other I ever had."" Old man - ""ugh, what did she…