Vampire Bat and their Fellows !!! A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.""OK, follow me"" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a…

[Meta] I need your Halloween jokes. My Halloween costume is an Undead Stand-up Comedian. I need all your undead, Halloween, zombie, vampire, hell, ghoul, masked killer jokes you have. Currently my best bit is ""How'd I die? Well I was performing a set at an airport longue and it didn't go too well. I bombed so hard the TSA mistook me for ISIS.""

""You know, I'm doomed to get eternal damnation to the Hell"" said Edward Cullen. -- Because you are a vampire, creature of Night and Darkness? -- No, because I'm an atheist.

So a vampire walks in to a bar... He walks up to the bartender and asks for a glass of blood. The bartender looks at him like what the hell and the vampire replies "" its ok I'm a vampire I'll take my glass of blood and be on my way."" He finishes his drink and sets the glass down and heads out the door. The next day he comes in and asks for two shots of blood and the bartender pulls out his bottle of blood pours 2 shots the vampire drinks it and heads out. The next day as the vampire is walking…