My ex mother in law once commented that she wished her son had stayed married to his first wife. Me too, I replied.

"My first wife didn't have a gag reflex" Wow that's amazing "Yeah she never laughed at any of my jokes"

I am a widower three times over..... My first wife died when she ate some poisonous mushrooms from the yard. My second wife died from eating the same mushrooms. My third wife fell down the stairs because she wouldnt eat the mushrooms.

Three wives are having drinks at bar. After a few drinks they begin comparing their husbands to soda. The first wife says ""Well, my husband would be 7-UP. He's seven inches and straight up."" The second wife thinks for a second and says ""Mountain Dew. He's always mounting me and we're always doing it."" After a couple seconds the third wife says ""My husband would be Jack Daniels."" The first wife says ""Jack Daniels is a liquor, not a soda."" ""Yep, that would my him.""