Golfing on the sabbath One day, a man named David decides to skip church to play golf. Up in heaven, Saint Peter sees this and reports David's sin to God. God says, ""I will punish him accordingly."" David plays a perfect game and goes home really pleased. Saint Peter sees this and goes to God and says, ""What gives? You said you would punish him, yet he gets a perfect score."" God smiles and says, ""Who can he tell?""

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.

David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were to say the least rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music he did anything he could think of. Nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird the bird got worse. If he shook the bird the bird got madder and ruder. Finally in a moment of desperat…