Monkey Business On A Bus This guy has a monkey and he wants to go down to Florida for spring break, so him and his monkey get on this Greyhound bus and head down. On the way there's a terrible crash. The bus drives off the road and everyone on board dies. It's a horrible bloodbath with body parts scattered everywhere. Everyone is dead at the scene except the monkey. The police are trying to figure out what went wrong. They have no witnesses. It was a single-vehicle accident. So they bri…

A White Man, A Black Man and A Jewish Man... ...were out joyriding in a car they had stolen. They ran a red light and got slammed into by a semi. All three died. They found themselves standing before Satan, scared shitless. The Devil says, ""Fellas, it's my birthday and I'm feeling generous so I'll offer you a deal. Each of you give me $100 and I'll send you back to Earth for another chance."" The white man pops awake, brushes himself off and is looking around at the resulting chaos. Ambulances …

I just wanted a drink. Stopped at Speedway to buy a drink. When I pulled in, I noticed these two cops watching a woman who was smoking while fueling up. I'm thinking, ""Wow...what an idiot! The police are standing right there!"" I go in and get my drink. As I was paying, I hear someone scream, ""Look outside!"" OMG!! The woman's arm was on fire!!! She's running around like a chicken with its head cut off, waving her arm around and just going nuts. We all went outside and watched the cops put her…

Dead pig found in front of the church The local priest called the police because a dead pig was left outside the front door of the church. When police arrived they were rather annoyed for having to deal with the problem. One officer pulled the priest aside and said ""it is really important that we do this for the community."" ""Indeed it is"" the priest replied. ""But I don't get it, I thought the priests took care of the dead?"" ""We do"" the priest replied, ""But we always notify the family fi…