A pirate goes to the doctor A doctor walks into his exam room and is greeted with a strange sight: a pirate captain with a ships steering wheel protruding from his waistline. The doctor says "Well, I'm not sure what you came in here for, but I think we should start by addressing the steering wheel down your pants." The pirate nods fervently, and says "Yarr, it's been drivin' me nuts!"

There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove.

Me: *enters exam room Doctor: Please take off your... M: *unbuttons pants D: ?? M: *pauses* D: GLASSES! D: I'M AN EYE DR DAMNIT!

I like to finish my pelvic exam by asking the doctor 'hey, where'd your watch go?'