and now for my next trick, i will saw a women in half. for this i need a volunteer. how about...MY EX WIFE SANDRA WOW I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE

My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop making Pokemon references... 'You need to make a choice' she said 'It's either me or the stupid pokemon references!' 'I understand', I replied, holding back tears. 'Sandra, I choose you!!!'

The winter in Gull Lake Alberta . . . Alan and Sandra lived on a cove at Gull Lake Alberta. It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over. Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes and beer. She asked him for some money, but he told her, ""Nah, just put it on our tab. Old man Stacey won't mind."" So Sandra, being the good wife, walked across the ice, got the smokes and beer at the store and then wal…

Sandra, a devout Catholic, got married and had 11 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 11 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Sandra also passed away. At Sandra's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."