A woman on trial A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks the prosecutor: "First offender?" The prosecutor responds: "No, a Gibson first, then a Fender"

[MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct.

Judge: You're sentenced to death. You'll be hung. Wife from the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG. Me: Your Honor uncuff me so I can high five my wife

[murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.