When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*

I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them I have a problem.

The only upside to Trump's big wall is that Texas will finally get some of Banksy's Art. Maybe like a little girl and a soldier with a gun

If you draw a picture of a butthole on the questionnaire, there's a 95% chance you'll get out of jury duty. Would be 100%. But, Texas.