A joke my russian friend told... So stalin was giving a speech to a few hundred thousand soldiers... One soldier then sneezes in the middle of stalin's speech. Stalin stops, looks around and asks: ""who sneezed?"" there was no answer.... he asks again and sure enough no one answered - Stalin is now pissed, he doesn't like being ignored so he gets the first row executed. He asks again, and no one answers... ""execute the second row"" and BAM the second row is dead! He asks again... then a little …

Stalin's political career didn't really take off, until he played the trump card -Seize the means of reproduction!

Stalin's General Assembly Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. ""Who sneezed?"" Silence. ""First row! On your feet! Shoot them!"" They are shot, and he asks again, ""Who sneezed, Comrades?"" No answer. ""Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!"" They are shot too. ""Well, who sneezed?"" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, ""It was me! Me!"" Stalin looks at them and says, ""Bless you, Comrade!

WWII era Soviet joke In the middle of Stalin's war council Marshall Zhukov storms out of the room, muttering ""The moustached tyrant went utterly batshit"" to himself. Head of NKVD Lavrentiy Beria hears him and immediately repeats what he heard to Stalin. Stalin calls Zhukov back and asks who did he mean. ""Hitler, of course."" ""And who did **you** think he meant, comrade Beria?""