What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears? Grant.

Christopher Columbus was the first economist. When he left on his voyage, he was not sure where he was headed to. When he got there, he was not sure where he had ended up. And it was all done on a government grant.

How many Canadians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Ou…

How can we be sure the government wasn't involved in the Kennedy assassination? Well he's dead, isn't he? (Adapted from Neil Gaiman's *American Gods*)