What does a true Scot keep under his kilt? A Scotsman is at a festival, and he comes dressed in his best kilt (worn properly, of course). As the festival proceeds, the Scot starts to get very drunk, and so he sits under a tree with his beer mug and falls asleep. A couple of "pretty lasses" walk by and see the Scot passed out under the tree. "What *DO* you think he has under his kilt?" one of them asks the other. "I don't know!" she says. "Do you think maybe we should have ourselves a look?" T…

MacGregor A young Irishman sits down for a pint at his local pub, and soon the Scot on the stool next to him strikes up a conversation. You see the fishing pier out that window? asks the Scot. I built that pier with me own bare hands. But do they call me 'MacGregor the Pier-maker?' No. And he takes a drink of his whisky. You see the beautiful bar you're seated at? I planed it down with me own achin' back. But do they call me 'MacGregor the Bar-maker?' No. No! And he takes a drink of his whi…

Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff? So it would push back.

How did the Scot die? He got kilt.