What do you call an asthmatic vampire? Vlad The Inhaler.

Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire. Now it's Vlad the Impala.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? Same time next month? (sorry if repost)

Someone called my call center today to tell a joke I don't think I've ever heard: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite