Where is Jesus today? A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, **"Where is Jesus today?"** Steven raises his hand and says, *"He's in Heaven."* Mary answers, *"He's in my heart."* Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, **"He's in our bathroom!"** The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this. **"Well,"** Little Johnny says, **"every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom d…

(My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists? Simplifying Radicals. Yes, she's a math teacher.

Contagious A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious'. Roland, the class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious". "Well done, Roland" says the teacher. "Can anyone else try"? Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious". "Well done, Katie" says the teacher. "Anyone else? Little Shaun jumps up and says in a broad Irish voice, "Our next door neighbour is painting his …

Can anyone use the word "contagious" in a sentence? Julia raises her hand. “Yes, Julia?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.” “Very good, Julia!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Shazza raises her hand. “Yes, Shazza?” She answers, “My dad tells me not to yawn because then everybody else yawns. He says yawning is contagious.” “Excellent work, Shazza! Very creative…