I went to the doctor and he said you have the blood pressure of a 14 year old kid I said great. He said, not so great, a 14 year old *American* child. You got four months to live. Kids are so fat these days the first letters they learn in the alphabet are not ABC, it's KFC Kids are so fat these days they use cheat codes to play Pokemon Go Kids are so fat these days the reason why they use smart phone to play music is because they think a Sony Walkman must involve exercise. Kids are so fat these …

Backwards Compatibility. People hated on the new console generation because they weren't backwards compatible, the Internet practically crucified Sony and Microsoft. But really people have always been like this. Did you see what they did to that Jesus guy when he announced Christianity was no longer backwards compatible with Judaism?

Bill Gates suddenly dies... ...and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go." Bill p…

How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, wait. That's a hardware problem. [source](http://nerdfighteria.info/video/54/Zrnd63DAH8o)