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Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn't buy a kitten and parcel it up for Christmas Day so she bought it a week before Christmas and gave it to the little girl. 'You're getting your Christmas present a week early this year' her mother explained as she handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten. 'Is that what you want?' The little girl said 'It's wonderful mother...just what I wanted. There's just one thing wrong!' 'What's that?' her mot…

Some funny pick up lines Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes. If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS? My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in. If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me? Nice legs...what time do they open? Um…I have a lotta money. Hey baby, did you just break wind? Cause you're blowing me away. Hey. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you …

Catholic School So there's a bad jewish kid and he swears all the time. He gets expelled from school. His behavior combined with the town he lives in being so small where everyone knows everyone's business, causes his family to become pariahs. Desperate for a solution, the parents ask the local Rabbi for help who suggests sending the boy to a *yeshiva* - a Jewish private school. The parents try this, but sadly, this seemed to make him worse, now he swears in both English and Hebrew. The ne…