Why ya going to the airport? **Jim Carrey**: ""Why ya going to the airport? Flying Somewhere?"" **Passenger**: ""How'd you guess?"" **Jim Carrey**: ""Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?"" **Passenger**: ""Aspen."" **Jim Carrey**: ""Mmm, California.. Beautiful.""   *Excerpt from Dumb and Dumber.*

So this blonde is at an airport... So this blonde is at an airport and she needs a flight to New York from California. She goes up to the desk and asks if there are any tickets left. The flight attendant tells her that she is very sorry but they are all sold out. The blonde begs for any way of her to get there. The flight attendant says they have a helicopter and asks if the blonde can fly it. The blonde says yes and goes to the helicopter. She hops in and starts it up, and it goes higher and hi…

A car collector from New York finally gets the Datsun he's been looking for, Unfortunately it was missing a few key parts to get it up and running. He takes it to his mechanic. The mechanic says ""you need some specific gear parts here - these cogs over here, you'll need two of them. You can only get them from this specialty parts dealer, and he's in California. The man decides to make a trip of it and goes out west. He finds the dealer and decides to buy a whole case of the parts and give the e…

Nervous about flying I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. ""I'll take care of it,"" she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights. A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned ove…