How do you make Donald Trump lose weight? Have Vladimir Putin take laxatives.

Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket.

Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Kathleen Wynn, all die and go to hell.(Ontario Joke) While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a cheque.. Next Donald Trump calls the U.S. and talks for 30 minutes. When he's finished the devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so Tr…

A Democrat wakes up after being in a year-long coma... ...and immediately calls the doctor over to his hospital bed. ""Doctor, I need to know; who won the election? Was it Sanders? Clinton?"" The doctor shakes her head. ""Let me put it this way: there's good news and there's bad news."" ""What's the bad news?"" the Democrat asks. ""Donald Trump is the President-elect, and has appointed a climate change denier as the head of the EPA, a close friend of Vladimir Putin as Secretary of State, and a b…