What do Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad have in common? They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.

Why was Jimmy Carter like the LIRR (Long Island Railroad)? He used to pull out of Rosalynn at 5AM every morning. **For the low-information jokesters here: Carter's wife's first name is Rosalynn, and Roslyn is a stop on the LIRR.

How do you cure aids? You put it into world leaders. Note - This is an old joke I've heard when I was a kid, but seeing how Jimmy Carter was cured by a drug that was just released recently, it feels like a sad reality.

What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't? A widow.