Hitchhiking *Ted stopped on the side of the road after seeing a hitchhiker.* * **Hitchhiker:** Hello there. Is the city far? * **Ted:** No. * **Hitchhiker:** May I get in your car? * **Ted:** Yes. *After a couple of hours of driving in silence...* * **Hitchhiker:** Is the city far? * **Ted:** Yes, now it is.

A dop Ted Father : Son, do we have any dop ted? Son : What's a dop ted? Father : You are. You're adopted. Son : Nice one dad. Father : I'm not your dad.

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted? One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy? Ted can swim away from an accident.