Classic jokes modified to Donald Trump and Putin One day while walking through the countryside the President of Russia discovered an old lamp. He started to polish it and out came a genie who told him that for freeing him from the lamp he would grant him one wish. Putin thought for a minute before declaring, ""I am a poor simple man with simple needs, therefore I wish that Putin pee vodka!"" The Genie exclaimed that Putin's wish was granted and disappeared in a poof of smoke. Putin runs home and…

How many Canadians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Ou…

Tax. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100... If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this... The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay £1. The sixth would pay £3. The seventh would pay £7. The eighth would pay £12. The ninth would pay £18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay £59. So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happ…

What is politics? A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes s…