On a trip to a shopping mall, a couple agreed to split up, visit their favourite shops and meet up again in an hour and a half. So while he visited the bike shop and the sports outfitters, she concentrated on the big clothes store. When he met up with her ninety minutes later as arranged outside the clothes store, she was carrying a dozen bags filled with clothes. "I don't believe it!" he exclaimed. "Have you really bought all that?" "Well, yes," she replied. Then gesturing towards the interior of the shop, she added: "But look at all the stuff I'm leaving behind." I bought a clock, and then the big hand fell off. But I didn't want to throw it out so I added 'ish' to the end of each number. Demetri Martin