[pizza delivery] Girl: Is there an other way I can pay you? *bites lip* uh HELL YEAH! *pulls out phone* see that RT button?

A night at the temple A man is traveling through the country and his car breaks down. He gets out and walks for miles and miles, and the first sign of civilization he sees is an old temple. He goes inside and asks the monks if he can use their phone. The head monk tells him ""We have no phone - and it is already getting dark. If you like, you may stay the night with us and tomorrow some of our brothers will walk you into town. Not having many other options, the man agrees and he is given a modes…

Three men appear in heaven at the same time. They approach the pearly gates when they're stopped by St. Peter. ""Woah, woah, woah! Sorry, heaven's been a bit busy today and we're starting to get overcrowded. The Big Man told me I'm only allowed to let people who died sad deaths in today. If you can tell me how you died, and I think it's pitiful enough, I'll let you in."" ""I'll tell my story first,"" says one man. ""So, I'd been pretty certain lately that my wife had been cheating on me. I only …

Three engineers were trying to make smarthome devices (from a friend) Three engineers and a manager are sitting around some appliances to help make them smarthome compatible. The first engineer turns his attention to the refrigerator, ""We should connect this fridge to the internet and make it tell you when food is going bad, I will need an Intel i7 if we want this to constantly notify you."" the manager thought for a while and finally grumbled, ""ok, we could fit that into the budget"" The seco…