A millionaire was driving along in his stretch limo when he saw a humble man eating grass by the roadside. Ordering his chauffeur to stop, he wound down the window and called to the man: "Why are you eating grass?" "Because, sir," he replied, "we don't have enough money for proper food." "Come with me, then," said the millionaire. "But sir, I have a wife and seven children." "That's okay. Bring them all along." The man and his family climbed gratefully into the limo. "Sir, you are too kind. How can I ever thank you for taking all of us with you, offering a new home to total strangers?" "No, you don't understand," said the millionaire. "The grass at my mansion is four feet high. No lawn mower will cut it!" The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market. Jay Leno