A middle-aged guy who was bald bought a hairpiece in the hope that it would make him more attractive to women. That night he took it for its first outing to a singles bar, where he picked up a pretty young woman and took her back to his apartment. To get her into the mood, he switched off the lights but as they started fumbling passionately in the dark, he realized to his horror that his toupee had fallen off. He began groping frantically for it, hoping to put it back on his head before the girl saw that he was really bald. In the zeal of the search, he inadvertently ran his hands up the girl's legs. "Oh! That's it!" she gasped in ecstasy. "No, it isn't," he said, momentarily forgetting himself. "Mine's got a side parting." I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out. Jay London