A young man kept pestering a tailor about giving him a job selling suits. Eventually the tailor agreed that if the young man could sell a particularly hideous green suit, he would take him on. "But don't get your hopes up," he warned. "That suit has been in this shop for more than two years. Nobody has been able to sell it тАУ not even me. So I doubt you'll fare any better than the others." Two hours later, the tailor returned from lunch to find the young man bleeding, his face covered in scratches and his clothing torn, but wearing a big smile. "I sold the green suit," grinned the young man. "Congratulations," said the tailor. "The job is yours. Nobody has come close to selling that old, ugly green suit. But tell me, what on earth happened to you?" The young man replied: "Well, the customer loved the suit, but as for my injuries, unfortunately he had a really sensitive seeingeye dog." If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine, look into that second, less painful career. Richard Jeni Some people arrange the clothes in their wardrobe according to colours; I arrange mine according to stains. Sean Lock