A drunk stumbled into the back of a taxi. He leaned towards the driver and said: "Excuse me, have you got room for a lobster and three bottles of wine on your front seat?" "I think so," said the driver. "Good," replied the drunk, and he threw up. ENGINEERS Most people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. You Know You're an Engineer If . . . You have ever removed the back of your TV set just to see what's inside. Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone. You have a pet named after a scientist. You can type seventy words a minute but can't read your own handwriting. You always explain things by drawing on a napkin. You own one or more white short-sleeved dress shirts. You have more toys than your children. You can understand sentences containing four or more acronyms. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance. At traffic lights, you try to figure out the synchronization pattern between your car's windscreen wipers and those of the car next to you. You take along a printout of the schedule of your family vacation. Your IQ is bigger than your weight. You can remember nine computer passwords but not your wedding anniversary.