Saying, ""I'm sorry,"" is the same as saying, ""I apologize."" Except at a funeral. - Demetri Martin

knock knock! who's there? not trayvon martin -- that nigga dead!

A man named Martin is lost in the desert and came upon an oasis. Upon stumbling into camp and drinking hastily from the well, the sheik of the oasis steps out of the largest tent and orders his guards to arrest him. The sheik explains that Martin has drunk from the precious little water left to the oasis and can either fight to the death with the sheik or dig and dig in the hot desert with no water till he finds another well. Martin, figuring he has no chance of surviving the digging, takes on …

A young man went into a bar and ordered a stiff drink. The bartender asked: "What's up?" The young man said: "I went to a funeral this afternoon, but I'm never going to one again. It was terrible. When the music started playing, me and my mate were the only ones dancing." How come 'I'm sorry' and 'I apologize' mean the same thing, except if you say them at a funeral? Demetri Martin