Little Johnny came into the house for dinner after playing with his little friend Wendy. His parents asked him what he had been doing all afternoon. He said: "I played football for a while and then I proposed to Wendy." His parents thought that was really sweet and, not wishing to make fun of him, went along with the idea. His father said: "But, Johnny, you know being married is an expensive business. How are you going to manage?" "Well," said Johnny, "with the $5 I get each week from you and the $3 she gets from her mom and dad, we should be okay. I can always get a paper round." Stifling a smile, his mother said: "That's all very well, darling. But how will you and Wendy manage if you have a baby?" "Well," said Johnny, "so far – touch wood – we've been lucky." I don't like the girl scouts. I can't trust an adolescent female paramilitary organization that sells highly addictive baked goods. John Maclain