Three girls are trying to escape the police. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead when they finally think they're in the clear. Relieved, they stop at the shops. The brunette goes to the pet store and buys a cat, and the redhead buys a dog, while the blonde goes to the supermarket next door and buys a sack of potatoes. They return to their car, and the police have resumed chase. They pull over and the brunette says, ''I know! If we make the noise of the animal we bought they might not catch us!'' …

The Pope goes out for a drive... The pope is riding along in the back of a limo and is bored out of his mind. He calls up to the chauffeur and says ""Hey Bill, I'm bored. Mind if I drive for a bit?"" Bill, the chauffeur, agrees and the two switch places. The pope immediately slams on the gas and starts tearing down the highway way above the speed limit and soon they pass a pair of cops sitting at a speed trap and they put their lights on and give chase. The pope pulls over as he's a godly man ev…

WHAT WE LEARN FROM THE MOVIES -- It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting. -- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. -- If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. -- Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. -- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait pa…

An elderly man who just retired Went out and purchased a Porshe. He decided that he would go take his brand new car for a ride and see what it could do. As he was speeding around the country side he sped past a police car on the side of the road. The officer noticing him going well above the speed limit gave chase. The elderly man looking in his rear vision mirror noticed. Swearing he put his foot down easily outpacing the police car. Only one minute later the elderly man said to himself ""what …