MY WIFE IS A LIAR! 'That wife of mine is a liar.' said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. 'How do you know?' the friend asked. 'She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd spent the night with her sister, Shirley.' 'So?' the friend replied. 'So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!

That wife of mine is a liar said the angry husband to a sympathetic palseated next to him in the bar. "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'dbeen, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley." "So?" "So she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister, Shirley."

Wife: We need to go to the store. We're out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We're out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*

My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar.